took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My pussy is not your playground.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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