i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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