Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Success! We fucked roommates!
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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