You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
