Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
