From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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