In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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