my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
