i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
