I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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