how can u be prego again
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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