how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
