Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
