You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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