Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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