So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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