so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
