We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
