4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
