That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
