Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i was born a porn star she said
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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