uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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