i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
