who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
