I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
