Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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