We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
