normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
