Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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