He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
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