i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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