Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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