Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
