I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
