And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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