So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
