That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Randomize
