Reggie can tackle my bush.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
