He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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