I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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