I bet he comes in French.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
