My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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