Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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