Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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