A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
