Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
He felt like a one man threesome
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
