His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Operation Purity has been aborted
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
i think my cat just said my name.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
