I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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