grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
