I think I just saw someone hide a body.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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